"I'm confused"

Kelly Goodsir
Nov 23
5 min read

I’ve been thinking a bit about confusion over the last 12 months. Probably because of my own confusion at times and also because when others say they are confused, there’s often a bit of tension or a shift in energy when confusion enters the dynamic. All the complexities between knowing and not-knowing, I think they deserve a seat at the table. So here’s a deeper dive.

“I’m confused!” It’s a common statement we hear when we start to make change, feel uncertain or step into new territory. It's often a statement we have all said or heard in our workplaces, right? Confusion is, after all, a state of not-yet-knowing, a moment when we’re trying to make sense of something new, complex, or unexpected. It's a recipe for all the hard, rich and rewarding stuff in life!

Let’s face it, our comfort with uncertainty sits on a wide continuum and depends on so many things when it comes to change in teh workplace. We all hold different tolerances depending on the context - things like the level of trust in the relationships or organisation, our own history with change, and how safe or supported we feel in the moment. It can also work in opposition to our natural human desire for stability and clarity. I know, very Brené Brown and all, but I do think the psychology of it all is so relevant.

Confusion might be dressed as:

Resistance - you know when someone is pushing back or withholding participation because something is not quite clear to them.
Avoidance - when someone is pulling away it might be about confidence, readiness, or feeling ill-equipped to move forward. We can all avoid the unknown.
Low engagement - when there is a lack of context or understanding this can result in more passive involvement, just going wiht the bare minimum - being stealth essentially and going underground!

Confusion can often be interpreted as a negative but what if it was reframed? Not as a problem, but as a signal that we’re learning? If we get curious about our confusion and self-regulate the frustration that can often accompany it, it just might become an invitation to explore a new idea rather than a reason to pull back or resist it.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space”

Viktor Frankl (2006, p.66)

The birth of new learning lives in this magical space, the space between! There is a choice or a moment of freedom between something that happens and how we choose to act or react. It might be a nano-second of freedom, but if you learn to harness that moment by tuning in, holding back, and creating just a little pause to notice what’s happening, you can shift from automatic reaction to intentional response. Now that’s POWERFUL!

Brené Brown (2015) explains that when we’re confused or uncertain, our brains rush to “fill in the blanks,” often with fear-based assumptions. Psychological safety and authentic connection help people pause, ask better questions, and build more accurate, compassionate stories, turning confusion into clarity rather than conflict. So what type of conditions do we want to be creating in our workplaces? Heres some thoughts:

Conditions for confusion ... to support learning

Psychological safety / feeling safe to express uncertainty.
Tolerance-building / expanding comfort with not-yet-knowing.
Reframing change / seeing uncertainty as growth, not threat.
Gentle curiosity / approaching confusion with openness, not pressure.

Conditions for confusion ... to fester

Not feeling heard / limited or absent listening.
Pushing ahead too fast / bulldozing past people’s perspectives.
No time to process / rushing clarity or forcing decisions.
Low trust / weak interpersonal connection or past change fatigue.

Author unknown: This was a photo Matt Goodsir used to visually explain the over-thinking he experienced

Time to be confused

“People need time to unlearn and relearn.”

(Fullan, 2007, p.42)

When things get confusing, time becomes a critical factor in whether confusion supports learning or turns into resistance. The stakes are HIGH.

Too much time and confusion becomes stagnant. It can drift into overthinking (umm that's me), hesitation, or even disengagement as momentum and clarity fade. Too little time and confusion becomes overwhelming. People feel rushed, pressured (might be a feeling I've had once or twice), or unsafe, which amplifies anxiety and shuts down curiosity or tolerance for change.

So time-ly-ness in response and dialogue is really important.

***Confronto*: Reggio Emilia insights**

My recent in-depth study tour to Reggio Emilia, Italy offered deeper insight into the cultural meaning of confronto, a pedagogical strategy that welcomes the friction between ideas, recognising that it is through this kind of dialogue, and the confusion it often stirs, that richer understanding emerges. In Reggio, confronto is not conflict; it is a deliberate encounter with difference that expands thinking. I am so drawn to this and wonder about the importance of putting ourselves around others that don't always agree with our point of view or perhaps different ways of seeing?

Atelierista Consuelo Damasi explained: “we are dismantling some certainties so as to create new details, new opportunities for learning.” This perspective positions uncertainty not as a deficit but as a vital space where new ideas take shape.

Atelierista Matteo Bini adds another dimension, reminding us to approach learning conversations with openness and humility: “Be prepared to abandon our convictions…put your convictions to one side when you are with children.” Here, confronto becomes an ethical stance, one that resists imposing adult assumptions or all-knowing and makes room for children’s theories to surface and be a catlyst to our developing ideas about teaching and learning.

Pedagogista Elena Corte further emphasises the importance of slowing down, protecting the time needed for meaning-making to unfold: “The dimension of non-rapid time, where teachers give time for learning…there is time to be disorientated.” In this way, confronto is inseparable from a pedagogy of time, allowing confusion, disorientation, and cognitive struggle to play their essential role in learning.

It all sounds so delightfully true to me BUT so terribly difficult to enact too!

Avoiding confusion can reduce learning

Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Queensland Jason Lodge spoke on the ABC Life Matters podcast about “embracing confusion in the classroom.” Listen here. He explains that when learners move too quickly toward certainty, or when teachers rush to remove confusion, students may “miss the point” of the learning experience. Avoiding confusion can bypass the deeper cognitive work required to build understanding. We must take the long road and avoid the short cuts people.

The impulse to tidy up ambiguity, provide quick answers, or resolve uncertainty too soon often leads to superficial comprehension. Tick done, proved the learning, whats next? Feel of sound familiar? Deeper learning emerges when confusion is given space to unfold and be worked through.

So here are a few questions:

When an educator is confused about curriculum design or how to apply the EYLF to assessment: are we too quick to provide answers, links, or templates that remove the opportunity for them to think, wrestle, and deepen their understanding?
How might I create space for educators to sit with productive confusion, asking questions, exploring possibilities, and making meaning? (recognising the value of supporting struggle in the pathway to deeper pedagogical knowledge)

My hope is that we welcome the opportunities confusion creates, reframing what can feel tricky or uncomfortable. Each time we meet confusion in our work and choose curiosity, it becomes a little easier to lean in and to invite a longer conversation, ask a deeper question, or seek the clarity that allows us to move forward.

Next time you hear “I’m confused,” maybe treat it like a doorway:

Want to step through it together?